What Is The Meaning Of Family??

what is the meaning of family? i dont know it anymore. ever since i'm young,if i go to my mom and said 'mom i got number 3 in class' and she will say 'why didnt u get number 1?'

i mean,why cant she say 'oh dats good...u're so clever' or watever...u know? and when my results dropped, she will say 'why are u so stupid?'

this is the environment i grew up in. i do not know wat real family is suppose to feel like. when i see my frens talking to their mom or dad like they are friends,i feel like why cant i have this relationship with my mom? or dad? why does my mom only know how to discourage me,saying negative things to me? why does my dad doesnt listen to every word that i want to tell him? he always say i'm noisy or that he doesnt wana know about my life. like when i try to tell him somethin that happen in school he'll just go nod his head and continue to look back at the tv screen. so as i grew up i never really have a conversation with my dad.

then of course i watch alot of shows or movies and i see that a family is people who loves and care for u and give u moral support or any kind of support whenever u're in need. family are suppose to build a safe environment where when u go out and u are scared of the world,u can always come back home and feel safe with your family. i always put my family first but i dont think they put me first. i remember many times i told my dad i'm having fever or i'm not feeling well,he just go like, go rest and drink water then u'll be alrite. well not all sickness can be cured that easily.

lately in Australia,the aunt i'm stayin with,tends to insult me every single day that i'm here.its like if she doesnt insult me for a day,she wont survive in this world.she'll say i'm fat or say that i'm useless,or say that i'm not helpful n bla bla... truth is,i always help her whenever i can around the apartment,but does she appreciate it? NOOOOO.... so i'm actually quite upset..and the thing about lending the hair straightener to me,it got me even upset to see that my family is so selfish.anything she buys,she only thinks of my cousins but not me,she'll say that its for them not for me.she doesnt like sharing things with me thats for sure. i really duno wat to do. pls pray for me..that God will guide me and give me strength in this kind of environment. i really want to move out..and i do hope god will give me a chance to move out as soon as possible to stay with my brother.