Break The Barrier...

today,i got to talking with Ruth about goals and achievement and new year's resolutions. i don't remember much about how we got into talking about me and my church here. well i told her i haven't let out my true self yet in church here,for some reason,i just can't. she just randomly said that 'maybe you afraid that people can't accept you for who you are' and it hit me. yes thats it. i'm afraid to let go because i'm scared that people cannot accept me for who i am.

maybe i'm feeling small coz i'm surrounded by smart ppl,talented ppl,leaders....etc...erm..they are at young age but already so commited and mature in church...somehow i felt like i'm very childish in thinking too. they make me feel like they are 'superior' u know? well,she happened to tell her fren and her fren really gave me some advice. to tell me to just let go and be myself.

i guess its also coz i'm low self esteem/confidence that leads to me acting like this. but in uni i'm basically very much myself..my frens have seen the crazy me already.hehehe...i think i'm mature in different aspects but when it comes to entertaining,i don't think i have my limits. hahaha.. i even walked around class bare foot! my frens think i'm crazy wei!! haha... oh well...