Reminiscing Home.

i'm feeling really down.

only because i missed the old times that i had with good friends, here in Sydney and also back in Malaysia a couple of months ago.

it seems like yesterday that these memories were just made.

i happened to look back at those pictures and all i could think of is 'if only i could turn back the time, i would do it all over again'.

but that's not the case, TIME is the only thing that HUMANS can't change.

what's past is past, no more turning back.

the photos will only be a mere memory of that particular moment at that particular time that has been captured and framed in our minds.

i could still smell the air that i breathe at that moment, the taste of whatever my mouth has during that time, whatever i just ate.

if you asked me whether i missed Sydney when i was in Malaysia, honestly speaking, I DON'T. I NEVER WILL. Sydney has brought me too many bitter memories than good memories that my brain does not even want to think of it and will push this memory all the way to the back of my brain.

If you asked me whether i missed Malaysia now, my answer would be "every single breath that i exhale and inhale, i'm missing Malaysia". that much.

it's not a place that brings you peace,joy,love but the PEOPLE that walks into your life. it will always be the people around you that matters, they define another part of you. a part that will never be filled as long as i'm here in Sydney.

the day that i can independently move out of this place and live on my own will be the day I WILL NEVER LOOK BACK and consider Sydney my home.

Sydney is not my home, it has never been, it will never be. this place does not welcome me with open arms but sucked me into this hell hole and tortures me.

my soul is being tortured by emptiness.

"home is where the heart is." I think i have left my heart in Malaysia.

"Sorry Mom, I don't like it here."

If you really look at my pictures when I was in Malaysia a couple of months ago, and the pictures that i took recently these past few days, look carefully and you'll see sadness in my eyes.

XOXO

Sue